more advice on speaking foreign languages

July 26, 2006

Convinced of the efficacy and pedagogic value of my method for learning to speak French I offer the following guidance on articulatory sets:
how to speak Thai- put a clothes peg on your nose and let your mouth flap open like a fish coming up for air

how to speak British English- cover the mouth with several layers of insulating tape (for more advanced students Sellotape will do)

how to speak American English- speak out of one corner of your mouth as if you’re snarling at someone repulsive

how to speak Spanish- smoke 40 very rough cigarettes a day for a week first

how to speak Italian- pretend you’re an opera singer who’s forgotten the tune

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