English spoked

July 29, 2006

Foreigners, bless their little hearts, often have trouble with the English language. Here are some examples of signs and stuff:

Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
Japanese hotel sign
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Leipzig elevator sign
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
notice in a Tokyo hotel
Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots of Ascension.
Austrian ski resort
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Belgrade hotel sign
Please to bathe inside the tub.
Japanese hotel sign
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Belgrade hotel elevator sign
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Tokyo car rental firm

Questions on a medical form in Japan:
Are you haunted by horribles?
Do you ever run after your nose?
Does your nose choke?
Does your head or face or shoulder ever limp?
Has any part of your body suddenly grown uncontrollable?
Do you have heart thrills?
Do you have hot fit?
Do you feel as if there were two when there is only one?
Are more than half your teeth off?
Do you readily become orderless unless you are strained?

boiled little white babies with string
Chiang Mai menu


Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Swiss restaurant

Policeman: What countryman are you?
Sailor: I am sailor belong to the Golden Eagle, the British ship.
Policeman: Why do you strike this jinricksha man?
Sailor: He told me impolitely.
Policeman: What does he told you impolitely?
Sailor: He insulted me, saying loudly “the Sailor, the sailor” when I am passing here.
Policeman: Do you striking this man for that?
Sailor: Yes.
Policeman: But do not strike him for it is forbidded.
Sailor: I strike him no more.
“The Practical Use Of Conversation For Police Authorities”

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One Response to “English spoked”

  1. brad Says:

    it\’s just a cool design


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