more signs

There’s a common affliction, called ‘designitis’ which prevents people putting up signs from reading and thinking about what they have written.

A ROOM WITH A VIEW ON THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY.
African hotel sign

On the Plaza Theatre marquee: – – – – – – – – – – – – –
ETERNITY STARTS AT 6 P.M.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: INSTRUCTIONS: OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS

In the Corbett National Park, Uttar Pradesh, India: NOTICE:
RAMGANGA RIVER IS INHABITED BY CROCODILES.
SWIMMING IS PROHIBITED.
SURVIVORS WILL BE PROSECUTED.

On a church door in England: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN.
ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
(THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT.
PLEASE USE SIDE ENTRANCE.)

On a post in Corpus Christi, Texas: TO CROSS OCEAN
PUSH BUTTON
WAIT FOR WALK SIGNAL

On a packet of Sun-Maid raisins: WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

The Southeastern Georgia Alzheimers Chapter presents a dinner cabaret, “A Night To Remember.”
–The SGAC

In a British office: AFTER THE TEA BREAK
STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE
TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE
DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London: ANY MEMBER INTRODUCING A DOG INTO THE
SOCIETY’S PREMISES SHALL BE LIABLE TO
A FINE OF ONE POUND. ANY ANIMAL LEADING
A BLIND PERSON SHALL BE DEEMED TO BE A CAT. (doesn’t really fir into this category but I like it nevertheless)

In an English laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES.
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

It is forbidden to deface this notice

Where possible reproduction should be done back to back
Notice on photocopier in UK Government department

From here on obey existing signs only (as opposed to..?)

Seen outside a travel agency:
Why don’t you go away?

Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order