Britain facing a national crisis

July 30, 2006

The Independent leads on the crisis which is threatening the stability and security of the United Kingdom. Terrorism, crime, the assumption by John Prescott of the role of temporary Prime Minister? I hear you ask. No, far worse than that. Britain is facing an acute sperm shortage. According to an infertility support group spokesperson “People are spending lots of time trying to source sperm.” I could give them a few suggestions as to where to start looking. And what are the consequences of this terrible shortage? Sperm banks that used to supply good old British sperm are now “importing packages of frozen sperm from the United States and Denmark.” In addition to losing 450,000 illegal immigrants, the Government is now allowing more foreigners in through the back door, as it were. Worse, many couples are going abroad or buying sperm on the internet. And I thought internet spam was bad enough. Still, I can offer a solution. Come on chaps, trousers down for your country! What better way to celebrate the appointment of our acting Prime Minister!

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