POLICE! FREEZE! DROP THAT MARBLE

August 1, 2006

The Daily Mirror reports that two children have been told off by West Midlands police for playing hopscotch. West Midlands police said “By targeting what may seem relatively low-level crime we aim to prevent it developing into more serious matters.” ‘May seem relatively low-level crime’ indeed! Everyone knows playing hopscotch is part of the wave of lawlessness and organised crime that is sweeping across this country. Still, three cheers for the West Midlands police for at least making a stand against it. I understand that armed response units will be sent to combat any incidents of children skipping in or near school playgrounds. Skipping ropes are from now on to be classified as an offensive weapon, Category A. Possession of a skipping rope with or without intention to endager life will be made a criminal offence liable to incur life imprisonment. A Home Office study will reveal that an alarming percentage* of rapists, serial killers, bank robbers and gang leaders have at one time or other in their lives played hopscotch or used a skipping rope. New legislation will be introduced to outlaw all school playground games, including ‘Oranges and Lemons’ ,’please Mr Crocodile’ and ‘Queenie Queenie’ under the Prevention of Terrorism Act.

* approx.0 .00000001%

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2 Responses to “POLICE! FREEZE! DROP THAT MARBLE”

  1. Ian Fitter Says:

    Like the post. Just read the same story on bbc.co.uk and posted my own blog post.

  2. tomeemayeepa Says:

    Hopefully there will be more than the two of us


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