some limericks

August 6, 2006

WARNING

Parents: you might not want your children to view this page

Children: you will definitely not want your parents to see this page

A tatoo loving barmaid named Gale,
On her breasts bad the prices of ale,
While on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
She had the same but in Braille.

A yogi from far-off Beirut
For women did not care a hoot,
But his organ would stand
In a manner quite grand,
When a snake-charmer played on his flute.

There was a young man from Australia,
Who painted his asss like a dahlia.
The color was fine;
Likewise the design;
The aroma — ah, that was a failia.

There was a young warrior of Parma,
Who got into bed with his charma.
She, naturally nude,
Said, “Don’t think me rude,
But I do wish you’d take off your arma!”

A concert conductor in Rio
Fell in love with a lady called Cleo;
As he took down her panties,
He said: “No andantes!
I want it allegro con brio!”

In the garden of eden lay Adam
gently stroking his madam,
and great was his mirth
for on all of this earth
there were only two balls and he had ’em!

An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said Sex is one thing I do know
Women are fine
And sheep are divine
But llamas are numero uno!

Said an ape as he swung by his tail,
To his off-spring both female and male;
“From your off-spring, my dears,
In a couple of years,
May evolve a professor at Yale.

The limerick packs laughs anatomical,
Into space that is quite economical;
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones are so seldom comical.

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he’s a college professor.

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