Breakfast at the Blairs 4

August 12, 2006

Mrs B wafts in looking dazzling in a silk Ebay kimono as a calypso band in the distance strums Cliff Richards’ well-known ballad ‘I’m just a pretty straightforward sort of guy’.

M r B (mumbling) AHLAN WA SAHLAN MA’ASALAAMA FEEN EL-HAMMAAM? ANA MISH FAAHIM…….

Mrs B Darling, what on earth is that mumbo-jumbo? I told you not to stay out in the sun so long.

Mr B Just practising my speech to the Walthamstow Islamic Human Rights League and Darts club.

Mrs B You had me worried for a minute. (picks up the newspapers). Oh dear, that’s not very nice, how beastly, the Mirror says you shouldn’t have been in such a hurry to go off on your holiday.

Mr B What, and risk being stuck in mile-long queues with the boozed-up Thomson crowd and their revolting kids? No way!

Mrs B They also say you are “troubled” and “unable to relax”. Are you, darling.

Mr B Well, of course I’m worried, nearly everybody in the Cabinet is off caravanning or something……

Mrs B But Mr P’s in charge isn’t he?

Mr B What do you think I’m worried about?

(later at the pool, Mr B, clad only in his new stars-and-stripes swimming trunks, plunges into the deep end)

Master B Look, there goes Dad, out of his depth again!

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