Breakfast at the Blairs 8

August 23, 2006

Mr B walks in jauntily swigging a bottle of Banks Double Strength Lager, wearing the floral trunks given him by Mr R Murdoch (accompanied by a card which read ‘that seat on the board is getting lonely, if you catch my drift, mate’. In the background a calypso band plays the evergreen Cliff Richard number ‘She makes me feel like a Man’.
Mr B Howdy pardner
Mrs B deep in the Daily Mirror (silence)
Mr B I said g’morning sport
Mrs B (silence)
Mr B Hello hello, calling planet earth..
Mrs B Shut up will you
Mr B Oh, is something wrong, darling?
Mrs B “Earlier in the week, Mr Blair had really let hair down at a party when he was pictured with a saucy look on his face as a young British teenager showed off her cleavage” Do I have to read about it in the Mirror?
Mr B Oh that, er. nothing in it, pack of lies from start to finish, you know what lies the papers print about me, claiming I said my policies hadn’t made London more dangerous, that I was going to step down before the election …..
Mrs B That was when you said you had to make an urgent phone call to Mr P about the terror threat wasn’t it? I saw you follow her in there
Mr B It was just, you know, she wanted me to explain more about subsidised carbon audits to homeowners, sustainable development, that sort of thing…
Mrs B (icily) There certainly seemed to be a lot of development as far as that young lady was concerned but whether it will be sustainable remains to be seen.
Master B Hi, Dad, phone for you, someone called Tracey, says she met you last night.
Mr B gingerly reaches for the phone as Mrs B throws the bottle of lager at him and flounces off to the pool.

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