English for Thais

August 26, 2006

English for Thai
Fortunately, Thais have as much difficulty with English as we do with their language. One of my favourite books in English for Thai (published 1998) which, free from the shackles of conventional grammar, sets out to teach Thais essential English conversation. Some of the sentences appear to have been generated randomly:

All of activities will be good-bad, virtue and vice. they may not be considered to important matters. However, how they can get property or money and become a rich very fast, that is all right. Oh! very sad natural human’s being strange.
The knowledge and understanding will be gotten by society often of cause raw matterial in wisdom will be dicovered before to give away in step always and immortal The matterial in not finished.
Try to hold back your don’t sadly.

Others apply grammar rules idiosyncratically:
A good at negotiation and a good at speaking have been given by the person who has a soft tongue, clearly voice, bright and without the problems on voice box.

Some of my favourites are in the section ‘How to complement a person of the female’ which recommends such lines as:
your shape is suitable for association
your shapes are completely vigourous
Your figure is quite plumany
you are an income parable singer

Other phrases are, hopefully, not among the most essential for a foriegn learner of English:
I am arrested because of killing my wife and adulterer.
Oh that person is with faceful blood what is happened
I have tonsilitics for a long time
That may be a wound in a stomach

as the author puts it:
bad, very bad, bad to can not say

Some of the medical phrases do sound a little surreal:
How many children do you have now- stil not available
It’s 3 years already- you should have one- you might have a birth control
Either you or your wife might be barlen
Go and take a urinate in this bottle
I have been felling a nervousness in left

With some, you see what he means but it could have been phrased differently:
This one is fairy good
Which shop did you buy?
Which country will you get off?
The toilet is that corner
too much talking person will be complained but good talkings person and useful can talk to everybody
Please dry the clothes on the sun.

Sometimes i have no idea at all what he means:
Suit for the less-carrier
Questions when you see a friend or well known written on a seat

There are also some odd conversational exchanges:
Questions and answer to well-known each
What are you sitting on waiting for?
I wait for my somebody.
I sit on looking for something that pleasured and spent freetime

Occasionally it’s the odd word that trips him up:
OK, that esca later, escalater.
The persons whom we had known the reabhaleit, the spirit beofre when we asssocate- with them , they can sometimes us in trouble, the physical sufferings and the damage.
Certainly nobody is not best or worse although my owusely.
The lelling word between anyone and the other
Bring iron-stairs to put on before go up.
A no good people like to object and expand fartly
Don’t vest assured
there is a bomt sound
The life in the next world will got or not bu tthe life in this world should think good and try to do the bust for the good thigs

Still, let’s give him the last word:
The speech without objectives is increased the meaning such as Oh my Gods!
Make the reality later

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