It’s BBQ time in Thailand

September 10, 2006

The case of the unfortunate gentleman who was murdered on the instruction of his Thai wife, triggers a piece on the BBC website on the pitfalls of older men marrying younger Thai women. In this case, pieces of the body were apparently barbecued then scattered in the Kaeng Krachan National Park, noted chiefly for its variety of butterflies. Rather a waste, as Boris Johnson’s Papue New Guinea friends might say. Actually, it’s not as bad as the BBC make out. I’ve been here many years and only one of my expatriate friends was murdered on the instructions of his Thai wife. (As I only have three other expatriate friends, one of whom does not possess a Thai wife, I agree that could be regarded as a significant proportion, though.) This poor fellow came from Bromley, so one can have a certain amount of sympathy with the wife. Many other young Thai women I know have been sorely provoked by their farang husbands’ refusal to allow family members to move in or fund an extension to the local temple and have not even purchased a barbecue. So it isn’t all gloom and doom.
To reassure elderly men contemplating this dangerous course of action I have produced a short guide entitled ‘How to live in Thailand without being barbecued’. To be perfectly honest, I simply copied another guide I had just produced called ‘How to avoid attack by stingrays.’ In a nutshell, the advice is this. Show respect for all wild creatures even when they look domesticated. Find out as much about them as you can. For a start, they are typically inactive during daylight hours, coming out at night to hunt. Females tend to mate with multiple males. Understand how they communicate and the warning signals they give. If one consistently turns to face you and appears to stare at you with a malevolent eye, back off. Even when you thnk you know enough about them, approach them with caution. Remember that normally placid creatures can strike with deadly effect if provoked.

If you’re interested, there’s an excellent little piece on stingray behaviour here

I particularly liked the conclusion:

“If a stingray consistently turns to face you or raises its stinger-bearing tail above its back like a scorpion, it would be prudent to back off. Stingrays have enough problems living in the shadow of their infamous sharky cousins and having to go through life looking like a cowflop with eyes.”


2 Responses to “It’s BBQ time in Thailand”

  1. jeanclaude Says:

    This post is in very bad taste. You manage to make four sets of offensive remarks in one short crap post. You insult the memory of a great conservationist, make fun of an innocent man who was the victim of a horrific crime, you trot out yet again the racist stuff about Papua New Guinea and, as for the reference to your ‘friend’, well, I’m not surprised you have so few friends left.

  2. tomeemayeepa Says:

    You missed one- inhabitants of Bromley. If any of those directly involved happened to read it, I am sorry if it caused them offence. Residents of Bromley excepted.

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