who’s sorry now?

September 17, 2006

Following the Pope’s apology for hurting the feelings of Muslims, the Immam of Bageshot issued his own apology. ‘We Muslims realise we said a few bad things like calling people infidels and that stuff. It was thoughtless and inconsiderate of us.” Mobs in Jakarta took to the streets waving placards with the words ‘Sorry!’ ‘We were dumbf just plain stupid’. Al Qaeda militants linked to the Penge Jihad movement said ‘Look, we were wrong to behead those hostages. We didn’t think that slicing a guy’s head off would, like, kill him. It was a heat of the moment thing and we would like to apologise for any inconvenience it may have caused.’ World leaders have also issued their apologies. President Bush said ‘You know, folks, we are really sorry about that Iraq thing. It all started as a joke, me and Rumsie were just shooting the crap, pussy talk, all that jazz, and, well, things just got a bit out of hand.’ HMG swiftly followed suit with a spokesperson saying ‘yeah, we was way out of order, man’. In Baghdad, Saddam Hussein apologised to the Kurds. ‘It was a just a typo’, he said ‘it should have been a ‘t’ not a ‘k’.’ Meanwhile in France angry crowds burnt effigies of Edith Piaf, whose song ‘Je ne regrette rien’ was banned by the French Government. President Chirac appeared on the steps of the Elysée and, sobbing, declared ‘Je regrette tout’.

My bank manager, however, still hasn’t yet apologised for charging me 18 pounds for writing one stupid letter.

(just seen a much funnier post along similar lines on the hilarious chase me ladies… )

Update 

The Pope, as his contribution to world peace, has decided to level the playing field by having a go at Jews. He quoted words from St Paul, which In the Italian translation, used by the Pope, run as follows: “We preach the crucified Christ – a scandal for the Jews, a folly for the pagans”.

Come on, your Holiness, you can do better than this!  That’s not exactly going to get them burning effigies of you in Haifa is it? What about a few more tactless and historically dubious remarks on the Holocaust?

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