News flash: military coup in Britain- tanks roll into Parliament Square

September 21, 2006

Military leaders in Britain have staged a coup, suspended the constitution and declared martial law.
Army chief Sir Toby Nimrod-Smythe said the military leadership had formed a council for political reform and ousted the Prime Minister, Mr Anthonycharles Lyntonblair The coup leaders say the cabinet and parliament have been abolished, but power will be returned to the people.

images.jpg tanks roll into Parliament Square
In the capital, London, soldiers seized government offices and took up strategic positions around the city. Britain has a history of failed coups, the last being 2 weeks ago when a faction led by the sinister Finance Minister, GordonMcBrown narrowly failed to topple the regime of Mr Lyntonblair. General Nimrod-Smythe said “We ask for the co-operation of the public and apologise for any inconvenience,”
It is believed that the country’s highly revered monarch Queen Elizabeththesecond has given her support to the coup leaders.

gen.jpg Army chief Sir Toby Nimrod-Smythe
There has been pressure growing on the prime minister to resign, following a political impasse which has lasted months and has seen vicious in-fighting amongst the various ruling factions. It is believed that Mr Lyntonblair has fled the country with his immediate family and is in hiding in Bangkok. Several of his supporters, including the feared chief of police Sirianblair and other members of the Blair clan have been placed under house arrest. Opposition leader Master Davidcameron welcomed Mr Lyntonblair’s departure, “I’m delighted he’s gone,” he said. “It would have been great if he had resigned voluntarily, but apparently he was too stubborn. But at least it’s better than an assassination. That was what I was supposed to say wasn’t it?”
The streets in London were quiet on Thursday night. People were calm for the most part, correspondents say, curious about what was going on, but some said they were scared. A market trader, Mr Ali Bagwash, gave it a cautious welcome “Good luck to’em, I say, and they can start by doing something about the bleedin’ tube, know what I mean?” Traffic moved through the streets normally and in the bars and fleshpots of the city centre, foreign tourists seemed oblivious to what was going on.
One soldier on a tank said: “We don’t know why we’re here, nobody’s told us nothing, mate. We’re just following orders. You mean this isn’t Baghdad? I did wonder, to be perfectly honest with you…”

Update: United States condemns coup

A White House spokesman said the coup was “a step backwards for democracy”. The fact that 90% of people in the country supported it, was, he said “irrelevant.” “Regime change must not be carried out by force even if that force is non-violent,” the spokesman added.

3 Responses to “News flash: military coup in Britain- tanks roll into Parliament Square”

  1. britgirl Says:

    LOL – very good!

  2. $miffy Says:

    oh GOD how we wish this was true right now,
    only with much greater use of gratuitous violence.đŸ™‚


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