beguiled by serpents

October 2, 2006

First prize for an original excuse this week goes to the President of the Belfast Islamic Society, Yaqub Joya, who failed to participate in a service commemorating police officers killed in the line of duty. When contacted, he said: “Oh my God! We’ve been so busy with Ramadan. We had a meeting which finished at 12.30am last night…. We’ve just had a new carpet fitted and all these things are going on and stressed me. I really wanted to go. All the words that I wanted to say had been prepared.”
Not just one but three excuses, the pick of the bunch to my mind being the carpets. I understand historians now believe that Napoleon was late for Waterloo as he was having his curtains replaced. I’m sure most of us have a little armoury of excuses ready to use when needed (on holiday, headache, traffic jam, fell over a porcupine etc.). Here are some of the more famous excuses:
“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
“He didn’t say that. He read what was given to him in a speech.”
Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn’t following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands
“It depends on your definition of asleep. They weren’t stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.”
Commonwealth Edison supervisor of news information John Hogan, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant Operators were sleeping on the job.
“I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.”
President Richard Nixon
American cyclist Tyler Hamilton said there was no way he had received a blood transfusion. Rather, it was thought that he might be a Chimera — an organism with two or more populations of genetically distinct cells. The foreign cells in his body, according to this explanation, were produced by a twin brother who died before birth.

AND the first excuse of all time, when God caught Adam stealing his apples, what excuse did he give? He blamed Eve, of course, and Eve blamed the snake:
(Genesis 3:12-13) And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

Mr Joya has done Adam proud.

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