Flushed with anger

October 8, 2006

When I had my house built about 10 years ago I allowed myself one luxury- a top of the range lavatory cistern, the 6.0 Lpf 1.6 gpf by American Standard, for any toilet bowl aficionados who might be reading this, which I then believed to be a triumph of US technology that could stand proudly beside the spaceshuttles and the Harley Davidson Electra Glide. It was clearly designed for Western rather than Asian proportions and flushed with a pleasing deep throaty growl rather than the harsh metallic clank of the cheaper models. Only after the beast was installed, however, did I discover its drawback- you have to hold the handle down for about 6 seconds while it flushes. Now that might not sound like a major problem but if, like me, you drink a lot of water and use the installation about 10 times a day, that represents a minute a day. Over the ten year period that comes to a staggering 60.83 hours! Think what I might have done in 60 hours- flown round the world 3 times, broken the world ironing record of 56 hours, produced works of art capable of wining the Turner prize, learned German, cracked the Da Vinci code, who knows. If I last another 10 years I will have spent a total of 121 hours of my life at the end of a stupid handle! This is the sort of information the manufacturers never tell you. Who cares about Government health warnings on cigarette packets- everyone knows that they’re not the best thing for your health, even those fool enough to smoke them. But where do we find a warning to the effect  ‘using this device could take away a significant slice of your life?


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