Fried bacon

October 19, 2006

TWO police officers are to be disciplined after parking their patrol car on double yellow lines to buy Kentucky Fried Chicken. Headline writers couldn’t agree on whether the cops would face a grilling or a roasting, would be barbecued or fried in their own batter.
Other customers at the takeaway, the report says, were “outraged.” And so they should be. How is anyone going to run after a robber with his belly full of chicken nuggets? With obesity in the police force threatening the nation’s ability to contain crime and fight the war on terror, the police should be ordered to pick up an apple or a bowl of muesli if they need refuelling. It doesn’t matter whether there are double, triple or sextuple white lines as long as they are properly fed. And where is the Home Secretary when you most need him? Instead of trying to get in the army to machine gun rioting prisoners, Mr Blunkett would have done better to get in Jamie Oliver to review meals in police canteens. A compulsory plate of organic salad for all serving officers under the rank of chief constable would bring down the unsolved crime figures in no time.

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