technology I must have 1

November 9, 2006

The World’s Greatest Toilet
When we say the “World’s greatest toilet ever…” we really mean it!
There isn’t a finer, more complete toilet manufactured today.
This toilet has everything: an integral warm water bidet seat with personal settings, self-cleaning ability, air-purification, auto-flush.
There is no need for a tank! The lid automatically opens when you approach it, and the lid will close and flushes when you walk away.
This great toilet comes with a very high-gloss finish, a power catalytic deodorizer and the concave
rim design is easy-to-clean. If you can afford the very best, we think Toto’s Neorest 600 is the toilet for you.


Neorest 600 Unique Tankless One Piece Toilet with Integrated Washlet Seat
Toto toilets

  • Sleek, tankless, one-piece toilet with integrated Washlet seat
  • New Cyclone Flushing system, no waiting for refill, no refill noise.
  • Skirted styling with concealed trapway for easy cleaning
  • Integrated Washlet features front and rear warm water washing, automatic air dryer and deodorizer
  • SanaGloss: Super smooth, ion barrier glazing cleans your toilet bowl with every flush
  • Automatic Operation: Air purifier, lid opens/closes and toilet flushes when sensor is activated
  • Remote Control: The Neorest comes with a wireless remote control and all toilet and Washlet functions can be handled via the remote: motorized seat (up, down, temperature), water temperature, Cyclone flush, massage, oscillate, and change wand position.
  • Three Year Limited Manufacturer Warranty (by Toto)
    Sleek, tankless, low silhouette profile ELONGATED one piece toilet with integrated Washlet. Low consumption (6 Lpf/1.6 Gpf) Cyclone flushing action. SanaGloss glazing. 12″ rough-in.Tank cover, fittings, mounting covers and Washlet included.

    The “Cyclone” Siphon Jet flush has the equivalent strength of Power Gravity. It is a 3-stage flush: 1st, a swirling (cyclone) rim wash (1.5L). 2nd, a powerful siphon jet sends the waste.

Think of that sleek, tankless look! The fun I could have with the wireless remote and the motorized seat! A 3-stage flush with the equivalent strength of Power Gravity! Those are some specs. No onboard stereo, unfortunately but I’m sure I could fix that.

Courtesy of this wonderful website


I see Ipswich Hospital has stirred up a mini hornets’ nest by announcing that it will be:   “…using equipment unused at weekends to treat pets with cancer in Saturday clinics.” I am shocked by this news. I would never allow any of my pets to fall into the clutches of the NHS, where they will be attacked by superbugs, bundled around by humourless nurses and prodded by upstart doctors just out of medical school. (The news that under regulations recently introduced I, as an expatriate, would be refused NHS treatment even though I contributed for 30 years and used their service twice in that time, left me totally indifferent.) Having seen the quality of veterinary care here I would be much more interested in the opposite alternative and, as Tony Hancock famously suggested, would not be averse to getting down on all fours for the treatment. When I had to rush one of our cats to the vets late one Sunday evening I was amazed at the quality of service in one of our local animal hospitals. Before we even got inside he was seized by a team comprising two senior doctors, three juniors and four helpers, sedated, diagnosed and treated with a waiting time of less than 15 seconds. I vowed that if ever I need medical attention here I will demand to be taken straight there.

Flushed with anger

October 8, 2006

When I had my house built about 10 years ago I allowed myself one luxury- a top of the range lavatory cistern, the 6.0 Lpf 1.6 gpf by American Standard, for any toilet bowl aficionados who might be reading this, which I then believed to be a triumph of US technology that could stand proudly beside the spaceshuttles and the Harley Davidson Electra Glide. It was clearly designed for Western rather than Asian proportions and flushed with a pleasing deep throaty growl rather than the harsh metallic clank of the cheaper models. Only after the beast was installed, however, did I discover its drawback- you have to hold the handle down for about 6 seconds while it flushes. Now that might not sound like a major problem but if, like me, you drink a lot of water and use the installation about 10 times a day, that represents a minute a day. Over the ten year period that comes to a staggering 60.83 hours! Think what I might have done in 60 hours- flown round the world 3 times, broken the world ironing record of 56 hours, produced works of art capable of wining the Turner prize, learned German, cracked the Da Vinci code, who knows. If I last another 10 years I will have spent a total of 121 hours of my life at the end of a stupid handle! This is the sort of information the manufacturers never tell you. Who cares about Government health warnings on cigarette packets- everyone knows that they’re not the best thing for your health, even those fool enough to smoke them. But where do we find a warning to the effect  ‘using this device could take away a significant slice of your life?

technology update

October 1, 2006

Thanks to the excellent Blood and Treasure blog for the link to two ingenious devices: the wall mounted terror-ometer and a suspicious looking device on the Junkfunnel website.
The terror-ometer “predicts the upcoming impact of terrorism on our lives. This quantity is displayed on an easy-to-read needle meter packaged in an attractive, wall-hung device…..It contains an Internet enabled microcontroller that parses frequently updated world news feeds. It is designed to be truly plug-and-play, providing instant readouts after being connected to any DHCP capable network.”

The suspicious-looking device doesn’t do anything: it just looks suspicious.


I will definitely put the second one on my Christmas list. meanwhile, I am working with aviation experts on a roof-mounted hamsterometer.

Cameron’s clean politics

October 1, 2006

Back from my trip to the Burmese border region where I single-handedly fought off attacks from cicadas and stick insects (normally placid creatures which I provoked by trying to photograph them), I discover that in my absence Master Cameron has launched “webcameron” in which he seems to trying to demonstrate that an ability to do the washing up is enough to qualify someone to run the country. Personally, I think an ability to avoid doing any washing up a much more useful qualification. Furthermore, I notice that Master David spends the whole time rabbiting on about conferences and things and does not get a single plate washed. Not only that, he is obviously unable to keep control over his own young children, let alone his party, and fobs off their reasonable requests with vague promises. Which just goes to show that you can take the man out of Parliament but you can’t take Parliament etc. He’ll have to do better than this to get my vote.

assorted geekery

September 27, 2006

Off to the (blog-free) Burmese border today for a couple of days or so to see if our junta needs a hand against theirs. That done, hope to photograph moths, record birds and mouth harps, and practice my Lahu with toothless grandmothers, who are the only people with the patience to hold a conversation with me. I should be grateful if world leaders thinking of invading another country, potential rioters, would-be assassins and embryonic terrorists would just hold fire while I’m away.
In the meantime I have recently discovered Bloglines (about 6 months after everybody else) and I think it’s amazing to able to see what’s going on in all your favourite blogs at one go.
Finally, a note of thanks to all those who have found this blog via a search engine, in particular those who searched for ‘snails farting’, ‘my dog wets his bed at night’. ‘iambic pentameter about cucumbers’. ‘massage sex hornsey road london thai’. ‘how to steal watches’ and ‘televisions for sale at tesco’s’. I hope you weren’t too disappointed. No apologies at all to those who entered the most popular search term in recent weeks (‘sex with porcupines’). Is that what blogging does to you?

green weapons

September 20, 2006

A hilarious post on Big John’s blog about a “new generation of environmentally friendly weapons.”

Health warnings on missiles- a good idea:


Meanwhile, “The Metropolitan police have pleaded not guilty to breaching health and safety laws over the death of Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes in July 2005.” Presumably they were charged with not washing their hands before pulling the trigger. I see some meddling MP’s “queried whether health and safety legislation was the correct test for a terrorist operation.” Why ever not? Suicide bombers show scant regard for hygiene and can make an awful mess, inconveniencing  numerous people. What better way to deal with them than drop on them the full weight of the Health And Safety At Work Act 1974? Section 8 is  particularly draconian “”No person shall intentionally or recklessly interfere with or misuse anything provided in the interests of health, safety or welfare in pursuance of any of the relevant statutory provisions.” If that doesn’t deter some of these terrorists I don’t know what will.